I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
