He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
