shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
