You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
