I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They took my balls.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
