I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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