So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
then he tried to convert me to islam
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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