there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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