She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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