I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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