do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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