I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
