Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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