Yo dont text me then not text me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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