he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
