i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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