someone owes me an orgasm
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize