Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
