How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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