my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
