plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
