Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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