He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
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