Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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