you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
