For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just found puke in my bra..
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
