i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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