3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
