Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
