Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
