My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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