So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
