because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
