are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
