fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
