So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
