bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
