The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
