just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
