Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
