I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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