just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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