i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
