Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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