It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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