You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Everclear isn't food dammit
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
