State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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