yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
