there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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