I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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