were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
birth control should be required to get into college
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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