He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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