forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
