just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
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