I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
