watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
