Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Actions speak louder than pants.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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