I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
