You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
