If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize